Dear Diary,

When Lois didn't have a phone she had used my phone to log into several social media platforms, Tiktok being the subject of tonight's write.

Over the last couple months she's pretty much completely lied to me about her relations with Mac because she wants me back and doesn't think I'd consider it if I knew what was going on between them.

It's not just a guess at this point... I KNOW there are more than friendly things going on between them. I know this because her Tiktok (the last thing she left on my phone) has dms with him.

I mentioned in my last write the videos they send each other and the texts that go on in those messages. Not only do they send videos that make them think about each other but they talk about stuff they wish they could be doing which is usually quite intimate things relating to s*x.

Even after all this time she is still trying to play both of us and its still really really pathetic. I of course am not falling for it because I know how she is, I don't want her that way anymore and I have someone else on my mind. I don't really care what goes on between them because they can do them but I'm contemplating whether I should let him know that she has asked to kiss me several times, that she said we should get back together, and that she still likes me.

In the dms he said that she was the first person he had ever undressed before and I sort of believe that because he seems to be hanging on tight to her which is something boyfriends often do when they've had a lot of firsts with someone, it really builds a connection with them and they wanna hold on despite red flags, etc... She said he claims to not be a virgin but "you're the first person I've ever undressed" suggests otherwise. The funny thing she replied was "You're my first too" which is just absolute bullshit. I know she did things with her ex Dakota and she did stuff with me... a lot of stuff. Recently we were talking about cheating, I don't remember the reason why but I do remember that she said she had never cheated before and then I brought up the time she cheated on Mac (the guy I'm talking about) with me literally a couple days after they were officially dating. During that conversation she also said that she told Mac that she cheated on him, to what extent I don't know but it's hard to imagine she'd say "You're the first person I've ever undressed too" if she actually told him because those two claims completely contradict each other. Maybe she's stupid enough to forget what she said and told him two completely contradicting claims and maybe he's stupid enough to not connect the blatantly obvious dots.

Lois is still the same old Lois she claimed to have left behind.
She's still just the same manipulative liar desperate for attention.

Once in a conversation she joked about me telling my kids that she's the type of girl to avoid and at the time I wasn't so sure whether I agreed or not. I felt that she was a nice girl but just had a couple issues and was fine otherwise but at this point I agree she is 100% the girl I'd warn my kids about. Lois is the worst type of girl, the girl that pretends to love and adore you but behind your back she loves the attention she gets from other guys, she'll gaslight you if you have any suspicions and she'll lie to get whatever she wants.

To tell or not to tell him... I initially hated him for taking her away from me and putting me through literal hell in the process but at this point is it even his fault? She lied and manipulated him the same way she did and is still trying to do to me. Back in July when I found all the cheating she was doing behind my back I informed him on everything and he said that she told him she basically hated me, that I treated her poorly, that she wanted nothing but to be away from me, and all kinds of other unbelievable bullshit. For a while I questioned whether I was doing something wrong and just didn't realize it but eventually I realized it was just her way of manipulated us to believe the other person was bad because she started making Mac look like the bad guy as well. I once talked to him and we both agreed that she said the same things to both of us so it's not like he's completely oblivious to this but I suppose he is dumb enough to keep falling for it.

If I do tell him its probably best I just wait until school is over because that could start a lot of drama and graduation is just a couple weeks away and i dont want to deal with it. Idk what she would do if I spilled the Info to him. I think that he thinks she is still an untouched virgin so if he was to find out that she isn't and that she's been playing him this whole time... he might tell her parents which would not be good for her. I know she deserves pain but directly causing someones suffering feels sort of bad to do. I guess if I do tell him I could just leave certain things out so It wouldn't lead to obvious cconclusions and just let him connect the dots himself.

I honestly don't know what she is playing at anymore, it seems like she's just enjoying the attention she is getting but at the same time it's more than just attention based off those texts. I don't know if they've had s*x but it wouldn't surprise me either. She's really dropped her standards and self respect after all this time. She's become a hoe and hasn't realized it yet.

Sadly these posts will have to stay hidden for a while because she knows I write here and sometimes checks for any new posts but once school is out I'll make them public and readable. I'm curious what her reaction will be if she ever see's them, I'm sure she'll text me and that'll be an interesting conversation.

Schwarzes 's Dear Diary