Dear universe,

Today is my first day and third attempt of progressing on my spiritual journey. In order to get back to where I was and all of the amazing inner work I had done, I need to somehow find a solid and permanent way to kick my meth addiction. I was feeling completely confident and thought I had kicked it's ass, untill I slipped and certain people's influence made it easy to just have a little bit once. Truth is, that little bit on Nye 2022, turned into a unraveling spiral of devastating conciquence that I was extremely lucky to survive. This is an obvious wake up call, that I cannot have even a little bender on that stuff not ever. I lack the ability to stop, I cannot say no, and it has cost me 16 struggling years of my 30 yr old life that I cannot ever get back. I need to heal, I need to be content within myself. I need to not allow anything that will put me around meth. And I need to start growing and learning. Its late, and I'm tired, but tomorrow I will elaborate on the events that followed after I destroyed my 4 months worth of sobriety, and nearly cost me my life.

Beeming abundance of love,

Clansi Mae

Aman's Dear Diary