Dear Diary, I just texted my “friend” I want to reconnect with. She was my university friend and we went to Disney land and traveled together. But since the pandemic hits and we had to do online course, I haven’t net her. We graduated. But she couldn’t come to the ceremony. I dont know the truth but she said its covid.

I wasn’t mentally available during the last two years of my university life = pandemic era.

Today I scrolled through her chat and saw that she gave me phone calls that I missed. She worried about me and that’s why she gave me calls in the winter of our junior year.

I am like… ohh 😢

I decided to sent her text today. Awkwardly

Because last time when I text her was April 2022.

I texted her because I found a person who had a same exact name with her and missed her.

We had a chat about it. Just some lines.

Today I realized that she didn’t even open my last text to her.

I wonder why.

Maybe she wasn’t mentally well like I was during the pandemic.

Maybe she doesn’t really want to talk to me anymore.

I don’t know. And that’s okay. How could I know?

Anyways I already sent awkward hey it’s been a while how are you doing message to her.

I told myself I can’t expect getting her reply.

But I am glad about the fact that I made an action by myself.

4h later update: I feel like it’s the end… 😢

Well I really wish I could get new friends who are close enough to go to travel with or at least I can talk to face to face sometimes…

Probably she’ve already blocked me during our last chat. Middle of our conversation…

That makes sense.

But on the internet I found out there’s many people who lost their friends during or after pandemic just like me. And they are living. That made me feel calm.

Next day update: She just sent me a reply.

I have somehow a very mixed feeling.

Hallhannah's Dear Diary