Dear Diary,

How do you do? It's been a long time. I feel like I want to talk a lot, but I cant get my thoughts in order. Well, lemme try.

Exam season is unofficially over. I can start breathing again. Haha. Megha's wedding is on Feb 5 next year. But I'm not sure if I want to go. I mean, I got to know about the engagement from her fiance, the wedding also from her fiance and I just dont think at this point she cares enough to genuinely invite me. Offcourse she would, a month before her wedding,as a part of checking names off the list. But I don't think I would want to go, if that's how she sees things between us.I have no illwill against her, I want her to have all the happiness in the world, but I don't have to force a meeting between us to wish that.

We just happened to become friend because we sat on the same bench in class. We dont really have many interests in common, she get along better with sree than me, and offcourse I knew that from the beginning. but I went along with it, because I didn't want to have a lonely life in college. I guess i just tagged along with them, because, what the heck, what else did I have to do. I listened patiently to all the temple talk and all the rest of the things that interested them. I think no matter how much I tried to play it down, there was always a wall between us.

Anyway, that doesn't mean they're bad or I'm bad. We're just not compatible people. Wherever she ends up, I really hope she stays happy. It's ok whatever she thinks. For the sake of the good memories we cherished as pals once upon a time, I will always keep her in a good place in my heart.

What else? I've been getting frequent headaches these days. I think my new glasses have been overprescribed. I witched back to my old ones and surprisingly I felt instantly better. Over the past few weeks, I've been reading up a lot on myopia. I dont have a really bad condition. Its -2.75 ish on both eyes and since I'm over 20 now, it should stay stable for lifetime, or get better sometime before I start hyperopia in my 40s. Idk, I have this fantasy of getting rid of glasses without any surgery. You know, I will never have the courage to draw random shapes in my eyes with a laser. Besides, I cant imagine living with any complications. My astrologer says I'll live till 92. If I were to do laser now and I do happen to live till 92, that's a lot of time in between. Proper studies of long term complications of the procedure have not yet been available, and I cant take such a risk. I could try exercises, but no surgery hose'. While researching, I came across a huge community on reddit with a lot of knowledge on this topic. I met a guy with -17 D.Wtf!! I didnt even know that was possible. I also got to know about lens induced myopia. I met this dude who is kind of a know-it-all in human eye refractive errors. He gave me some advice regarding eye correction. I thought he was joking, but after trying out the stuff he said during the weekend, I can already see better with my -2.5 prescription. It could be some weird placebo effect, but whatever it is, I'm happy :D

....

Smarty is growing up so fast. Omg, the boys are always fighting. Last day, mom said jigu and smarty got into a big fight over a bone. Smarty bit jigu's balls and Jigu

bit smarty's ears. Mom was a little concerned about jigu, but i dont see the point. It's not like he's gonna mate anytime in his lifetime. Is that sad? Does he feel sad about it? Idk.

I've been having some concerns about work lately. But I cant talk to mom and dad about it. They'll only keep worrying more.

I wish I could go back to the days when I could talk problems to my parents and they would console me. But now I know ( or scared?) that it will only bother them and add to their worries. Anyway, it's not like I don't have anything figured out. I do.. For now I'll go with the flow. Let's see...

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One more friend married. I was shocked by this one. Aditya. Really? Dude's only 23. But he's up for it. I dont get why some people are so eager to get into life-long contracts with other people.

Yes. It is a contract. Even if most people don't see it that way, that's how the government recognizes marriage. It is very much a legal contract.

==

I miss Onam. Seeing all my friends' pics celebrating onam at work, I feel kinda bummed out. I dont even have a kasavu saree to wear on thiruvonam.I thought I'll take out my friends to sadya, but every single restaurant in this town has sadya only on thiruvonam, a frigging wednesday. -_-

I should probably stop my rambling now :P

Sayonara!

Lulutechcn's Dear Diary