Dear Diary,

I have been pushing aside the fleeting feeling of depression... Once again this has panged my existence. I've been working out (kind of) but have not wanted to meditate or journal. I feel a nothingness in my existence right now. Such a numbing feeling of not wanting to do anything, but also being bored out of my mind.

After completing my work for the day I try to occupy my mind, but just feel so numb. I distract myself with books and social media. I make it a point to play with my son and ensure I'm present when I do. But in those quiet moments when I have with nothing left to accomplish....I just feel numb.

Maybe its seasonal depression, maybe I'm just stressed out. But the fact that I've struggled with depression on and off my entire life is exhausting, does it ever end? Will the depression ever let up and leave me for good?

I have wonderful months where it barely reaches the surface and others where I struggle to get out of bed. I have such a better handle on it now....but it's still here, still just that annoying bug that won't get out of my head.

Well, this honestly made me feel a bit better...so off to do, something.

Qqqq's Dear Diary