Dear Diary,

Well, here I am. Again. It's been several years. Writing is therapeutic for me, even if I'm not that great at it. I'm not even sure where to start. My thoughts are always being invaded with ideas, worries, anxiety, excitement...you name it. I suppose that's really how everyone's mind works. I'm not any different.

My tab key isn't working (rolling my eyes in annoyance).

I guess a little introduction would be fitting at this point. You know, so that perhaps I can be better understood, or misunderstood. To be honest, once I write this all out it probably won't be anymore dramatic or stressful than any other person's life. The main goal for me here, is to lay it out there and hopefully manage my stress better.

I'm 38 years old. I have a birthday coming up soon. Still not sure how I feel about my 30's drawing to a close. I am married. Our 10 year wedding anniversary is also coming up very soon. This is a personal best for me in the relationship category. He is my 4th husband. Go ahead, judge away. I'm not proud of it, but I am proud of us. It takes a lot of work. I'm also very aware that I can be difficult to get along with sometimes, so by no means am I blaming all of my failed marriages solely on the other person. I will take responsibility for my part. I'll get into the relationships another day.

I have several children. Three of them are my biological children and two of them are my stepchildren. My husband has custody of them so they live with us full time. The kids range from 10 to 16 years old at the time of this writing. Life is NEVER dull around here. Many stories to come involving the kids, but again, that is for another time. Oh, besides the 5 that live in our home, there are two more that live with their mother. They are also my husband's bio children. They are the oldest of the bunch. Yes, you did the math correctly. There are 7 total.

I grew up in a home with both of my parents and a younger brother. My dad died 9 years ago due to cancer. I'll revisit that eventually, but not right now. Mom is still alive. She's the best. My brother and I get along pretty well. Don't get me wrong, it's not always roses and daffodils, but for the most part, we have each other's back.

I love dogs. We have four. Am I being honest here? I debate that with my own self sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I do Love my dogs and they are so spoiled, but, as with most things in life, they tend to get on my nerves at times, to the point that sometimes I regret getting them. Then again, sometimes I like them better than my own family. There, I said it. Then I feel guilty. We also have a cat. He was a rescue.

This is my life in a nutshell. Seems pretty standard on the outside looking in. A marriage, kids, pets, a home. My husband and I both work. ::SIGH:: Just wait til I get to the details.

Signed,

SincerelyME

Cloudz's Dear Diary