Dear Diary,

Growing up, hair was such a big deal for me. I remember sobbing every night when my mom cut my hair, praying that it would grow back as fast as possible. Hair was embracing my femininity, my power and I would think that it was what makes me attractive. Cutting my hair or putting my hair up made me feel "less" of a woman.

I used to think long hair equals beauty and professionalism. I wanted to feel, well, wanted.

To be honest, moving from Istanbul was such a relief. Yes, I met such wonderful people and my family was there. Yet, I constantly felt pressure when I went to school. I was scared to express myself. For example, the first quarantine was mind blowing for me. Yes, I was apart from my friends that meant the world to me, but I also discovered myself. What I liked, how I want to be. A real retrospection to myself.

I dyed my hair, put on big lines of eyeliner, it was such an important step for me.

Jim's Dear Diary