Dear Diary,

I asked Kemper last night why he wants me here. He said that he wants me better and that I need to focus on myself. I said I could do that anywhere and he agreed and said that I am not forced to be here. I am aware he won't keep me here.

I kept pressing him and he finally admitted that he liked me and when we first met, he seen how miserable and unhappy I was. So he wanted to help me. So...at least I am kind of getting a little bit more out of him.

He still keeps me at a distance. I can't change that but, I also don't want to be just a room mate.

He is home today so we are watching TV and chilling on the couch. We may break out the board games later on.

It is freezing outside and misting and of course it is getting everything wet which causes ice to be everywhere.

Next week there is a club event/get together. So I guess we can look forward to that. But for now, it is holding the furniture down and giving the remote a work out.

Still no word from Ryan. It still stings that he won't talk to me.

We have been avoiding the news. Just sucks to watch it. Of course, this entire country for practically a year has just gotten crazy.

I have also not heard a word from Ian for a few days now. I know he said he had a big work project he was working on but I still get concerned or worried when I don't hear from him for awhile.

It brings up the bad feelings of just feeling like I am all alone. Which really rings true with Ryan. It is devastatingly hurtful with him.

Hippie's Dear Diary