Dear Diary, sorry for writing so many entries I really don't want to spam this site. Well, next Wednesday I will go to the cinema with Knight and some of her friends. This is the first time I will see her since Corona. I honestly don't know what to think. Should I have hope?

I was hiking with Belle again yesterday and I told her about this. She didn't seem to care at all just asked me if I had expectations. I said no and she said thats good. That shows me that she isn't interested in me either. Yet she was supee eagee to meet me again yesterday, even though we met the day before. Do I just have a warped view on personal relationships? Is this just a friends thing, because this is what I would want from romance. Not this flirting stuff everybody is talking about.

Well everytime a girl who is my type talks nicely to me I get a crush, am I really to blame for that though? Nobody ever showed actual clear interest to me. So this stuff means everything to me. I also thinks its super weird to get so personal with someone you don't know much like people seem to do when they are flirting.

Well I chatted with Knight afterwards. It was mostly about the new Snyder cut of Justice League. It felt a bit awkward to me, because we both don't really like Zach Snyder moviesm But we have talked about him before and that is probably why she braought it up. I don't know why the two of us have such a problem to talk about other things than popculture. At first I thought it was only my fault, but she seems to be part of it too.

Well after we already said goodbye she sent me a link to a creepy sounding lofi video and said that it will help me sleep(it was a joke). That was sooo cute of her. It made me really happy. I don't know if this is just normal for other people but her still thinking of me after we said goodbye felt so great. These are the little things I cling to, to feel like I might matter to girls after all.

Mandeep's Dear Diary