I just remembered this memory I had hidden for so long and god I’m so happy it came back.

Years ago when I was really little my mom had told me that it was my step dead sisters birthday and that was the reason why she was sad that day and I went to my room that day and I had this bag of balloons and I filled them all up and FILLED my room with colorful ballons, I remember taking my mini plastic table and chairs that I had in the backyard and putting it in my room and setting up the table for a tea party, and I remember putting decorations on the walls and putting all my teddy bears in a line and telling them it was her birthday…it was Ishstars birthday<3 I remember talking to her like she was real and I remember dancing with her and jumping with her on my bed.

My mom cried that day and we celebrated her birthday together.

I never met.

God this made me cry :/

I’m not crying for her tbh because you can’t really cry for someone you never even have seen… but I’m crying cuz I just miss being that happy.

Now whenever I get that happy I get concerned and I start thinking how depressed am I gonna be once this happy feeling is gone?

The human mind is so cruel already and people make it even worse.

Sweet's Dear Diary