I'm really at a loss of what to do about work and my pharmacy. I feel so bitter about working in the pharmacy that I no longer have kindness or sympathy in my heart for anyone. I've lost trust in everyone.

I work hard and I feel like the employees I manage aren't working as hard or don't care. Why should I continue to work hard and care. I fix up the pharmacy and do the best I can every time I work and then when I come back from my day off, it's a mess again.

This past weekend, I was filling prescriptions and all the drugs on the shelves are out of order. Either someone doesn't know their alphabet or they're lazy and I'm leaning toward the latter. It's so frustrating. When I came to this pharmacy, I worked so hard to clean it up. I got written up for going over payroll (how else was I supposed to find time or help to clean that hellhole) and I didn't get a raise even though the district leader was my district leader for only half the year. He didn't even take into consideration how hard I worked to meet metrics and then to close my last store.

I feel like a failure and a horrible person. I can't give myself to work any more and to the patients that come in. I can't manage these employees anymore who have no intrinsic motivation or pride in doing good work. It's just out of my control.

I'm risking getting written up again for going over payroll. I don't know how to company expects me to work with 24 technician hours and get at least 400 prescriptions done. That's only enough for two 8am-4pm technicians and one 12pm-8pm technician and one technician is always at the register ringing everyone up.

Why did I even go into this profession.

Yuna's Dear Diary