Dear Diary, I was looking down completely, with both of my legs bent sideways, holding my other arm tightly, in my most traumatised position, when my abusers lusted at me sexually. I’m mentally and intellectually disabled. I only got these traumatic memories revived since September 21, 2019.

He started to bound me sideways and tie me up. I was crying. The trauma was so deep I forgot the location. The trauma was so overpowering, I felt like a hurt abused man inside, despite outside is a female body. He started to lick my feet and side neck, as I was moaning deeply in pain, and he removed my white undies and penetrated me intensively.

He raped me for seven hours, and another abuser took turns. I was then left in a pool of blood. I felt so hurt, the trauma was so deep, it cut through my spirit, splitting me. He placed me in lockdown, and I was left helpless, under his mind control and switch programming, creating modes within me, by inflicting DID/MPD (dissociative identity disorder) alters within me since early childhood.

Open_heart's Dear Diary