Dear Diary, Step 1: Think yourself in a better place and wholesale cross grinder knife and blade low and behold it will happenThis is your first step towards financial freedom. Imagine if you will yourself sat upon a huge pile of money, flinging it in the air with gay abandon and why not? Congratulations you've just made the first step towards making this a reality. Forget the graphic designer career you had mapped out. Let's join the idle rich instead.Step 2: Tell the boss what you think of him and burn those bridges!Now its time to get some payback. Remember the time your design studio manager had you stay late and manually key in that 1oo page farming brochure text by hand and then laughed at you in your face? Right, we'll show him who's boss. A good way to be forcibly removed from the office and earn some extra kudos from your fellow graphic design employees is to take a dump and leave it festering away in a drawer in the bosses desk.Just wait for his reaction when he smells that sick stunt. You're history.Step 3: When you hit rock bottom the only way is up, up and awayNo job = No money right? Wrong you putz. How do you think the tramps and beggars fill there days outside sainsburys? That's right - drinking and robbing. It isn't absolutely necessary to pick up a drink and drug habit at this stage but it isn't going to harm your chances of success. Now would also be a good opportunity to get rid of the other half if you happen to have one.

A spot of domestic violence after hitting the bottle is usually enough encouragement. Hey Presto, one more tiresome burdon off your back!Step 4: Remember keep your vision and your dreams will come trueAt every stage in this degenerate journey, never lose sight of that image we visuallised in step one of yourself sitting astride a huge pile of banknotes. They can take away your dignity but not your dreams. After several years of eeking out a living as a street bum its time to get this show on the road. Think hard about your previous day to day life, was there someone in your remote family or circle of friends who had a large stash of cash readily disposable?

It's time to pay them a visit with cap in hand.Step 5: Invest wisely and you can say hello to a life of wanton abandonNow after securing your large sum of cash from your chosen aquaintence, its prudent not to blow it all in one go on 200ft gold statues of yourself or buying an amusement park complete with zoo. No, you don't want to be going back to the nine to five graphic design day job do you? There are a thousand ways to invest your cash so that it will sit pretty and continue giving you a steady stream or revenue for a long time. Property for example is 'as safe as houses' or maybe put it all in a high interest savings account. It's taken a long time to reach your goal and hopefully the pain, ill health and loneliness have been worth it.

Bella's Dear Diary