Dear Diary,

as of late everything has me thinking qeustioning things in all aspets of my life, with this, new year brings me joy to start livng a life i can be proud of and be doing things i like want n need yo bring the happiness back to me. little things like going out with 2-4 friends and spemding time doing something exmaple : 3 friends meeting up going bowling for cheap maybe get some foood and drinks have a great time n make memories like we should be in our 20s in my opinon. sadly no one in my friend group wants to do these things, now a dasys no one even wants to taalk text back . let alone go out and have a whole few hrs together having fun instead of staying inside doing absoutley nothing all the time. no one i am friends with wants to do things together,my own bestfriend of 12yrs, hates doing anything hates going outside , shes lazy i dont feel she trys as really at all when there is a problem she advoids people doesnt really add anything to the convo other than exuesses for why she feels she cant or doesnt wanna go outside, i know weight is one of her reasons and i feel that too jus in a diffent way , ive ben super tiny my whole life i cant help it, and shes alwasy been insucrue about it,even tho she isnt even over weight and i telll her the truth n hype her up and shes amazing n so beauitful and it makes me so upset bcuz nothing i say helps she doesnt beileve me and then goes right back into no i cant, and uses exueses and talks about how shes going to "try" to get over this eventually.... to give context she doesnt go outside unlesss she absoutley has too its been about a year since i havent got her to leave the house and like im tried of having to see her sit inside and like i feel like that super unhealthy to be siting inside alll the time and nothing i can do will change it and i dont think she is trying to change it really at all, theres no vaild proof or nothing showing me shes trying also me having to always come to hher and put the effort and money into traveling to get to her bcuz she wont leave the house and acts like the buses are hard when there n not she is jus laxy i thinnk and knows that if she uses the exuses then i cant be rude or insentive about it to her bbut like i put alll the eefort into getting us togehter us hanging out ive helped them wiht food money smokkes weed others like i really jus meed a second opinon here im not trying to be rude about her self coniouses bcyz i am too but the differnce being that. i dont let it contorl my life. i have to be getting a place to live n a job n doing things yakniw unlike her never worked a day in her life no schooling ever she never wnet she has no goals to do anything but stay tf inside she hasnt evr worked no school zero life skils never left her moms house and she going to be 24 this year ......

like it makes me sad for her nut like ive tried to tell her like you gotta be doing sommething so that like yakmow cant live with her mom forever. shes luvky yo have the famlly she does to be able to do nothing but i was kicked out at 14yrs old and so ive had to make shit work bcuz if i didnt i get fucked ive worked so hard and jus ims getting pissed how nothing is changing in the friendship she doesnt wanna try or put effort in to help like i dont know is she actaually a friend i domt know anymore

Iamshash's Dear Diary