Dear Phoebe,

So last time I told you about my snapchat friend. I started working again and we have not talked for days. I told you I was okay about it.

But he did chat after 2 days. We started chill and fun until it has gotten like a roller coaster ride. He's always mad, pissed, disappointed, impatient but he's just as sweet and caring too when he's on the mood. And then his reply was not as instant as he used to anymore.

So I tried another chat app. There i have signed up an email account. But not more than 2 hrs i deleted the app because it was not user friendly.

And then i started receiving an email of messages from guys who used that chat app i downloaded before. There was this one guy that got my attention because of his message. And so I emailed him.

Then we exchanged our whatsapp. I'm not as hesistant as before... the snapchat guy taught me to relax I guess. Hehehe.

So i am talking to whatsapp guy and snapchat guy at the same time. They actually are available at the same time. Like always.

Honestly I am talking to the whatsapp guy so I don't find myself waiting for the reply of the snapchat guy.

Comparing both, snapchat guy is more mature, flirty, caring, sweet dominant and aggressive.

Whatsapp guy is more youthful, nice, sweet, chill and respectful.

But then whatsapp guy asked me to be his girlfriend already. He told me that we can start even though we don't love each other and see where it goes.

I was tempted at first. Because I also don't believe in long dating period. I know being in the relationship reveals more about the person not the courtship. But i felt like 2 days was too soon tho. Hahahaha. It's like a joke honestly.

But my major reason was... The snap chat guy. I knew i had to let him go when I'll start a relationship with the whatsapp guy. And even if snapchat guy is unpredictable... I actually like him more. Maybe because we have been chatting for a longer time or maybe because I like that he is aggressive? I don't know.

Snapchat guy also wanted more from me but did not pressure me. He was too patient even tho he is always disappointed but he is still pursuing me.

Anyway I have gotten so emotional. Maybe i was stressed out with the pressure from the whatsapp guy? Or I was waiting for the snapchat guy to chat me and tell not to answer yes... I found myself crying. 😂

We're not talking... We're just chatting.

I told the whatsapp guy I can't say yes now and all i can offer is friendship for now. But he still insists that I think about it. I told him i'll think about it.

And then for the first time, I initiated the conversation with the snapchat guy.

"are you okay?" i asked him. Because we slept last night on the wrong foot because i failed to asnwer his call.

He simply answered no because his legs are in pain. I feel like he is still mad. That or it's also possible that he is talking to someone else.

I asked if is it because he was running.

He simply said "yeah". I knew he was no longer interested to talk. I guess it was a sign to let it go. And so i decided to stop chatting him.

But I am really attached with the guy already. I can't lie about that. So I sent him a short thank you. He was my first shot in romance since birth. I did not tell him that. Just a short thank you. And good night.

I know it was funny but I really needed that... and I signed out from snapchat without waiting for his reply. Because i know i'll be tempted to reply. I also uninstalled the app.

I don't know what will happen tomorrow... But right now. I know I'm sad and i will really miss the snap chat guy.

Thanks for listening.

Regards

Gem 💋

Kind of Madness's Dear Diary