Dear Diary,

I feel like a zombie. A very content zombie that enjoys being stoned.
Vince is liking me around but not so much my drinking or drugs. (Party pooper) I told him to deal with it.
He wants to lie in bed and read while I listen to him. (eye roll, seriously?!) I guess he is the boss so I will go along with it.
He continues to want to fuck all the time. Still doesn't want to wear condoms but he is pulling out.
He doesn't hit, although I'm sure that will happen eventually. They always do.
I wish Ryan would answer my emails. It is so hurtful to feel like I am nothing to him or that I don't exist.
I took a bath today and cut my leg and watched the blood wave out of it. It was kind of cool to watch it float out or whatever you would call it, in the water. I then felt the urge to push on it and the sting of it felt wonderful. More blood came out and it was kind of cool to watch.
I sometimes wish I were dead. All of this, is meaningless. Life is pointless.
Vince wants attention now, better go do my duty

Saraphia's Dear Diary