To Whom It May Concern,

I've recently started a new job; it has been going well so far. I think one of the girls gets frustrated with me, I can forget things if it isn't repetitive. I had a bad head injury as a child, and it effects a lot of things in my life. I don't tell people about it much because it happened due to abuse in my childhood. I don't know how to approach people with this, usually it makes situations awkward, and I don't like to talk about it. I wonder if this is something I should discuss...but it is just painful for me to talk about it.

I suffered a lot of abuse growing up, and I struggle to trust people now. I've been trying to seek trauma therapy but there is nothing available in my area because of how small my town and surrounding towns are. I would do it online, but because I can suffer from seizures when I get those memories back, they won't allow me to do it because I won't have medical staff watching me. I feel as though I am at a crossroads, I want and am ready for help but there isn't any. It's on me to learn to deal and process this on my own.

I have done a lot by myself, I basically raised myself. I just get so embarrassed that I take longer to learn new things, people always look at me like I am stupid. I always feel like I am constantly making mistakes, after a while I start to believe that I really am stupid.

I can't let that happen; I know I am smart. I know that I am capable of many things. I shouldn't have to prove myself; intelligence can come in many forms and I as long as I know that then who cares what anyone else thinks.

Ixedcoffe's Dear Diary