Several days ago my lonely ass decided to look around the google play store for apps to make me feel a little less lonely. I found an app specifically for chatting with other lonely and depressed people (it's called Talklife).

I've made a couple of friends on the app, but everyone seems to be on the other side of the world. Also, I've only received messages from males so far and, as you could expect, they turn the conversation sexual.

I'll be honest here, I did not join that app to find sexual partners or relationships outside of friendship. The sexual nature of conversations can be blamed on them, this time. I really just want some nice friends, preferably from the States and my timezone.

Anyway, this one guy is from Malaysia and he's 30 years old. We actually have several decent conversations that weren't of sexual nature before things turned for that direction.

The reason why I'm mentioning him specifically is because he started calling me "babe." For some reason, I was thrilled. I haven't been called babe since I was with my ex-fiancé. I don't know why it felt so nice to be called babe.

But I constantly remind him that "we" aren't going to go anywhere. I can't do long distance. There's no way my heart could wait that long without breaking and fading away entirely.

Being called babe makes me want to restart my search for finding a boyfriend, but my heart is telling me to take a break. Just wait a few minutes.

Lanzi 's Dear Diary