[ENTRY 46..✍️]

I haven't written for almost a week now and I really don't have the energy to make a proper journaling because I don't have a main topic to talk about, but these are the tidbits that accumulated over my uneventful absence collected in one entry. I'll probably be doing more of these in the future.

Because of my reawakened intense desire to have sex, I installed a dating app, which immediately bored me after two swipes. I don't have the enthusiasm to set-up a complete profile but I won't uninstall it just yet in case I decide to give it a chance.

I continued watching "Spartacus".

When I finished the first season, I googled the casts and to my utmost surprise, found out that the actor who played Spartacus himself died of cancer and that they hired someone else to take his part for the show's continuance. This sudden discovery broke my heart. I tried watching the second season shortly after but I was still grieving and didn't have the spirit to enjoy it. It wasn't until now, almost two months later, that I resumed.

And again, this brutal series really fires me up with lust.

I'm thinking whether I should start being serious about learning Spanish now.. Or start it next year. My goal is to at least acquire five languages. Spanish would be my fifth.

Deleted my account on that dating app and uninstalled it. It just doesn't lure me in.

I've been watching "Z Nation" and every time I look at myself in the mirror, I'm becoming more and more like a zombie myself.

I've paused from reading classic novels for days now as I am, again, drowned in the entertainment of motion pictures Netflix provides.

I think I'm going to watch "Star Trek" and see if I'd share the hype my boys in "Big Bang Theory" have. The original series was made in 1966.. Damn. I can't believe it's that old? And coloured, too, to top it off.

If I watch "Star Trek", will it make me a nerd?

Hmm..

Nah. I have high regards for nerd people. And I think you have to be really smart to be considered as one. I don't know..

So colour TV was made available to consumers in 1954.

I'm really going to blind myself with my carelessness. Since last year, I've been using an eye moisturiser but I don't use it regularly. Only when I feel like I need it. Now once you open the eyedropper, you have to dispose of it after a month because..

Well, I haven't really looked it up but it's stated for a reason. Maybe it'll blind you so I'm quite mindful about when I should stop using it.

Now these past few days, I noticed that every time I'd moisturise my eyes, it made me sleepy instead. So sleepy that I actually prepared a coffee for myself to drink right at this moment (despite knowing what caffeine does to me) because I still have a lot of things I want to do and I can't do much at all when I sleep so early every night now. And I'm saying six-to-eight-in-the-evening early and I'm normally a night owl.

So I was putting my mug of iced coffee on my desk, settled myself on the chair, and thought of moisturising my eyes in the hope to freshen up my vision, thinking maybe this time, it would have that effect again. So I got up and reached for it when I saw another container. Just near the one I took.

Two eyedroppers.

"Oh, merde.." I muttered when a horrific realization sank in, taking the other one and examining each of them carefully. I must have been using an old eye moisturizer.. Gah. I couldn't tell which was which so I had to throw them both away.

How could I be so careless..

Stupid.. stupid girl.

I think the coffee worked. It's midnight now and I'm still awake. Although my sleepiness hasn't subsided at all.. Guess I'll wake up to another earthquake again.

Nah, not a real one.

Just.. you know.

My own body shaking.

Gotta pee now and have dinner.

I look really beautiful tonight.

Excuse my vanity but self-love is literally the only romance I have right now.

Bye.

Anonymousgal's Dear Diary