Hey Diary, I dedicated 15 minuets for tiding and cleaning up my room today. It felt nice to prove myself that I can do things. I got rid of things on my sub desk which blocked may way to bed. And I put the desk away. And also cleaned up the dirt on the window. And now I feel like I am gradually getting ready to learn and grow finally.

Still holding emotion-ish thingy which is similar to saddens. It has been in my chest for long. Is this for everyone and normal thing or is this minor thing? I don’t care. The one thing I can say for sure is this makes me cry easily and that’s make my life difficult.

People (like that teacher in my Highschool) are like “don’t cry. It’s not such a big thing. Communicate with your words because you are not a little child anymore” Yes I know but these person don’t understand that my tears are not for communicate. And I don’t want to cry especially in front of you. It’s not related with my emotions directly. I hate my high school teacher and I still not forgive her. I don’t want to be like her.

Okay don’t be so negative.

Because today, I feel like I can be get positive little by little.

Lynda Barry’s book, “What it is” was arrived yesterday. I felt tear was covered my eyeballs somehow. I was feeling it might bring energy to creat and positive vibes. And it is probably true.

KYLE SMITH's Dear Diary