Dear Diary,

I was doing so good at not talking to my friends. Days, weeks went by with nothing from them. (Not surprising)

I had sent a small message, totally not expecting anything, because I’m stupid! Then out of nowhere I get a message and an apology about never being there, blah, blah. So I message back (grr) and of course nothing. Then I message some more, still nothing. After that I send an email, and still nothing back. I’m over it! Always makes me feel like shit when I reach out and get nothing.

I could make a huge list of excuses as to why they do this but I’m past that. You either want to communicate or don’t, and they don’t.

My mom is due in less than a month and I would love to see if I have a baby brother or sister. I will probably just settle for pictures. She emails all the time! I wish I could be there for her more.

She told me that her and dad are still going to remain separated but will raise the baby together. It makes me sad to hear that. I wish she had never had the affair. It hurt dad so much! Although, he must have gotten over that at some point because a baby is coming. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Ryan has some more surgeries on his spine. Then I think he will be done with surgeries. She doesn’t mention a lot about him so I’m guessing on that. I want to email him but if Kemper found out, he would lose his shit.

Kemper came home last night after being gone for club business for four days. His hands are really banged up and he has a huge bruise on his side. I want to ask but I won’t be told anything.

Long term wise, I don’t know how to deal with the club. I don’t know how to make it work with Kemper.

I love him. I don’t know if it will be enough though.

Yup, I am that girl's Dear Diary