Dear Diary, I strained my back today. (Don't know if strain is the right word) A delivery person rang the bell and I must have stood up too quickly, because I suddenly felt a sharp pain from the right side of my back. Limping to the window I managed to get the package, but the pain stayed.

Thank god for my mom, without her I would have totally panicked and probably just layed there for an hour hoping ot would get better. We put some Melissengeist on it and I made an appointment with a doctor next tuesday in case it doesn't get better. It's at the same time as one of my online classes, but I think it's ok to miss once.

Sometimes it's good that I'm not living alone.

Then I texted Belle, because we had planned to meet again and obviously I couldn't do that now. My expectation was that she would be a bit worried and wish me a good recovery or something. But no, she said that she believes I unconciously don't want to meet her and thats why my body fabricated this injury. Completely bonkers and I wrote her that. She insisted on it.

These are the kind of red flqgs that kept me from asking her out. She has positive sides too, but her crazyness would be hard to deal with in a relationship. I don't think she would say yes anyway.

We haven't seen each other for 1,5 weeks because of her cold and the lockdown. Maybe that is her way of telling me she misses me. It still hurts, that she only thinks about what this means to her. We chatted about her mental illness problems for hours. Not that I want to complain.

This injury scares me, it makes me feel like I'm old already and haven't properly lived yet. It's a bit better now though, I hope it will just go away. If only I had someone to talk to about this, a really good friend if I can't have a girlfriend. My Mom isn't the right person for this. Maybe I will text Knight later and mention this. She will at least care a bit, even if we can't talk about deeper stuff. I don't want to go fishing for pity though.

I also had a match on Tinder 3 days ago. She hasn't answered yet, so I don't think she will ever.

So yeah, something positive? I'm a lot more motovated in university again. Guess I have finally adapted to online classes. And there have been positive news about a vaccine developed by American and German companies. Can't wait until this Corona Nightmare is finally over.

Have a nice day everyone!

Wind's Dear Diary