I crushed my good, just to let you trample it. I swooned over your rendezvous and watched mine burn. When the midnight arrived, I should have held my skirt and ran into the woods. Let the wild nature swallow me then let you suck the glee in me. But I sat there, smiling like a marionette too ugly to buy.

***

Now, thoughts are ugly too and heart's a chaotic incarnate. But I forgive you. I apologise for letting you go through that night. My failure and mistake are but my own. I shall live with it and caress it to sleep because the spring is here and the mountain whispers...

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Smoke in the air, the cold floating in. The night too silent to recall. Soft palms. Sharp sharp touches. And the pain, oh the pain. Change is so vile sometime

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I love you with all the other pieces of me. Even if you are my worst enemy, I adore you like the droplets raining on you. Despite my hatred, my love for you never wanes. For you are the part of me that I detest so bad i want to vomit, but cherish so good that I look egotistical. But if I love you so do you. Remember, I only have me even as I take my last breath.

Lashanda's Dear Diary