Dear James,

Oh James, I honestly miss talking to you. The day you didn't respond to me crying myself to sleep. I knew that was the end of our friendship. God, I miss you though, you were the only one that understood everything I was going through. I know I hurt you though and I am sorry from the bottom of my heart. I know you loved me but you knew that no matter what I would choose him no matter what. I am sorry for pulling you along... I know that I used the love you had for me and I am sorry. I remember when we first met and you would protect me and always put me first because you thought I was fragile and sensitive. When anyone would say anything bad about me or sexual you were always there to help me. I miss those days but I know I hurt and pushed you away. I hope you are doing amazing, I hope you are okay and you keep fighting the depression and negative thoughts. I wished I loved you the way you loved me... I wished our friendship didn't go the way it did. I miss the calls and messages we would send to each other... I miss the silly pictures we would send, I wish we got to spend more time with each other. I'm sorry I didn't stick up for you when she would judge you, I'm sorry I left you alone by pushing you away and not giving you a chance. I love you as a friend that impacted my life. I love and miss you, James. I will continue to care for you and miss you as well as love you...

Am I Even A Woman?'s Dear Diary