I can't stop smelling my hair. It smells like him.

I don't even know where to start. My soul is still suspended in outer space. My eyes are a little droopy and there's a lopsided grip plastered on my face as I write this.

Panther came over for a movie. A crappy movie neither of us watched.

First off, I'm just surprised we could pull this off. He came a few ten minutes after mum left for office. The time slot between her leaving and him arriving was so short that I was afraid he'd arrive before I could shower.

But shower I did (thankfully). I scrubbed my face like insane. My lil sis had helped me pick out a cute black sweater and sweatpants.

He couldn't find my place at first ahahaha. AND I'M SO HAPPY THE GUARD DIDN'T ASK ANY QUESTIONS.

He spent the first ten minutes playing with my dog. He LOVED my dog. It warmed my heart to see him play with my dog.

We still hadn't picked out a movie. We ended up putting on The Big Sick.

Spoiler alert: not a date movie. Or even a good movie, for that matter :)

But who cared about the movie?

What started as sitting adjacent with touching shoulders slowly unwound into tangled limbs and my face buried in his neck. Sweet Jesus he smelt amazing.

I had been watching the movie in the mirror's reflection for the last 15 minutes or so as my head rested on his chest.

I watched the credits roll. The movie ended. Neither of us moved. Not a single word was uttered. His arms around me pulled me even closer. The awkward positions on the sofa HURT. My brain had started to get foggy. My eyes drooped to slits. There was a woozy smile on my face. As I write, I feel the ghost of his head on the right of my forehead. It was serene.

"Should we just lie down on the couch? This is starting to hurt," he said, finally breaking the silence.

"Sure," I laughed. I got up and stretched, as did he. He lay down with the same woozy grin I had, and I just gawked at him like a little kid.

"I'm not sure how to do this," I said in my dumb kid voice.

"Lie down on me," he said, encouragingly.

Like a stupid 10-year-old, I shuffled my socked feet towards him and plopped down on him. Very weirdly :) My hair was on my face and I couldn't see shit.

With our eyes shut, we stayed that way for a few solid minutes. His arms around me just got tighter.

After a lot of awkward shifting and shuffling, and after discarding the couch cushions and making room for us, we finally settled. His fingers made small circles on my lower back. My hand was on the side of his neck. It was a dream sequence. As I recall the details while writing, at every step, I'm compelled to wonder if it were all real.

"What're you thinking?," he asked as my thumb nail lightly traced his chin.

"I'm thinking," I said, glancing at the clock above, "that we need to get you some food before my sister gets home from school,"

"Hmphh," he breathed as he pulled me closer.

It took me about 15 minutes to step out of that little slice of heaven that had grown on a yellow sofa somewhere on earth.

"I don't want to come out of this just yet," he groaned lightly with half open eyes, "I knowww," I whispered, planting an affectionate kiss on his cheek.

And just like that, folks, for the first time in her life, Chief Gupta had kissed a guy on a cheek.

We didn't kiss.

At all.

I have no idea why.

We did everything but kiss.

He then had lunch and actually met my sister.

We then sat and talked and laughed for another hour or so, delaying his departure as much as possible.

The best part? Here it is.

"How much do you weigh," he asked suddenly. Before I could answer he picked me. My feet were off the ground as I laughed and shrieked like a stupid kid. "You're so light!!," he laughed as he set me down. (Note to future self: get yourself a guy who can pick you up:)

"THIS DUDE ACTUALLY LOOKS GOOD," my sister shrieked in whisper in the other room. "I KNOW!!!!," I screamed back in whisper.

It was difficult to let him go :')

But I've promised myself that I'll make the most of this. Today I was cheek-to-cheek with a guy from my dreams. I'm NOT letting it go while I can.

I'm still smelling my hair.

wri

Anonymous's Dear Diary