April 13, 2026

Dear Diary,

This note I am writing today is to vent out my heart today...coz I can't talk about this to anyone, and with whom I can talk about this will never understand.

Saturday night was going well...until he got into that conversation...I didn't start this time, it was him.

It's obvious right, if I don't like something, I will speak on it or I can have my pov and I can say that, getting offended on it doesn't make sense...for rest of the other things, I will say there is a limit after which I will be provoked and say mean things...and I said mean things to make the person feel bad and gets a taste of his own medicine.

I am not writing stuffs, what happened and what not, I will just sum up, this is not understood for me if he gets offended because if he says something some information or anything and out of curiosity, I check it...I mean seriously, what kind of ego is getting hurt here, if you're sure about what you are speaking then why getting offended, let the other person feel stupid.

And, secondly and most important thing, he feels and says that I am not or feel grateful for the stable life I am living after marriage, the things which he got it all on his own with time...and it's not like that I don't respect these things but as usual I was having all of these at my home...yes it's true all of those things were not purchased by me...it was provided my father and my brother...but I wasn't deprived of any...but I really value the life he has created for himself...

but he sees only his perception only, if I should be grateful to things he does and then it goes vice versa also...right? But according to him...I don't do any such thing...

For whatever I do...it's like I did it my own free will, so why he should he grateful for it...and about cooking...last time when we had that argument, I told him that I also get tired, you can help me...he was like I didn't ask you to cook...although he used to help me earlier...he helps me now also...but that time our cook had left and it's obvious yaar I also get tired, if he gets tired working all day, I also get tired travelling to and fro for office and work there...but yeah...nobody thinks of that or understands that...so he was like don't cook...

Now, he has said that don't cook for me on Sunday...I am like okay!

He says na, he never asks to me to cook anything...but there are times, I have cooked things he like...even just after coming back from office also...but he doesn't remember all these things right...he only remembers that once I denied cooking something saying that I don't know how to prepare it...but I am the person who cooks anything and everything, experimenting...

And the other incidents he mentioned about that I refused to get up and give him a glass of water and after that he stopped asking anything from me...but dude...if we both are laying down and resting...you can have water yourself also...isme bura lagne wala kya baat hai...

He says, he asks me and offers me coffee or tea if he is drinking it after I come from office...and yes I agrees with it...but it's not like I don't this...when I come from office, I see him working...and I prepare tea for him and me, prepare lime soda, I remember even feeding him with my hand when he was busy working and hungry.

But, the funny thing is if he does something for me, I don't appreciate it or grateful for it...and whatever I do isn't considered as care or a gesture...it comes under I do on my own will....the only thing is if you get tired, I also get tired...and you need to be compassionate about it. And see my gestures as gestures only and when you don't remember things I do...and I make you recall, it's not ki mai jata rahi hun

And, from now onwards, I will talk very less with him...coz I got to know he gets offended by silly things I say without any bad intention.

He says, I try to be victim in our fight, but the fact is he does that every time.

This time, I felt that was it a right decision, things happened many times before marriage also, I should taken them as a clue from universe...that I should rethink...idk

Still, after all this, I tried to talk to him yesterday...but nothing can be improved right

If you think, that you are earing more money than me, I should not have different pov on many other things...or that should be the reason to respect you...idk what to say...

Every time, I think, even for once, have he thought, that what I feel, I like, what will make me happy or tries to surprise me...or love me the way I would like...or I want...or ever thought of doing anything that will make me happy...

For above things, he will say that I am like this only, I am doing what I can do...or I am thinking of work all the time, it's my priority, I am building a financial future...nothing else comes to my mind nor any energy is left for that...

Anyways, I don't know what's I am gonna do next...