April 10, 2026

Dear Diary,

"Jaane kya dhundta hai ye mera dil, tujhko kya chahiye zindagi"

Life is going okay, I mean everything is fine and good maybe, but I am not content or happy about it...coz none of the things is wow...I don't feel happy about the things...that doesn't mean I am ungrateful, I am grateful for the things life has been given me but I am not that happy, I am just okay, maybe because what I had in my mind is far far away from the reality.

I miss myself, I miss laughing till the stomach hurts, I miss enjoying my life...

I want to choose myself above everything and everyone but I choose things which won't create chaos...I want to do things, I like to explore...but I stay quiet, non chalant.

Maybe, someday I will do everything what I like, what I want to do, things that actually makes me happy without caring about other things or anyone...

Maybe I don't feel happy with my life because I had desires from my life...but fulfilling all of them does not lie alone in my hands...

Anyways, everything is good, not complaining, it's just that I desired something my whole life but not able to fulfill it or seeing that maybe I won't be able to fulfill those things or get those things or experience those feelings makes me unhappy.

Anyways, I choose to stay happy, maybe I also don't know what I want from my life....