March 30, 2026
Robin Williams, the late great actor, once said 'I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone."
Then yesterday I felt lonely and sad. We spent a large part of the day apart, doing our own thing. Now I understand own space is healthy, but I'm a lost soul. I question who am I, I don't even know what I enjoy doing. I was mum & wife for about the last 27 years. Now the children don't need me on the same terms & my husband doesn't seem to like or want me. So I battle with myself when faced with looking in the mirror and filling my void.
I keep a record of quotes that I like. Quotes and articles that resonate with me. I found myself reading this a lot yesterday.
I guess I should be celebrating the little wins...we got through a weekend without any arguments.
Friday we ate together... Although 'together' in this instance just means 'at the same time'. Dialogue was minimal.
Saturday we went shopping together. We are talking a bit more but it's all superficial stuff. We kept it amicable and I actually had a nice time.
Then yesterday I felt lonely and sad. We spent a large part of the day apart, doing our own thing. Now I understand own space is healthy, but I'm a lost soul. I question who am I, I don't even know what I enjoy doing. I was mum & wife for about the last 27 years. Now the children don't need me on the same terms & my husband doesn't seem to like or want me. So I battle with myself when faced with looking in the mirror and filling my void.
I found myself wondering how people make the decision to end things...or not. Several people have said you'll just know. I've never had that feeling to call time. I'm not sure I ever will. Maybe I'm too much of the fairytale chaser. Desperately refusing to believe there's not a happily ever after. 🤷🏻♀️
I cried a lot yesterday. The pain was real. Reflecting how my marriage has ended up here. Wondering if I have the fight in me too rebuild.
What I do know is I need to rebuild me first. I need to understand who I am now. I need to fix myself, my health, my headspace, my wants and needs, before I can possibly reflect with any true conviction and fix any relationship. Time to at least attempt to put me first for a change. After 27 years, I foresee a struggle! Any help appreciated 💪🏻❤️
T
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