I step into the New Year not lightly, but carrying the road that still stretches ahead.
I move forward with the search for a new apartment, a space where I can feel at home, not just with my body, but with my heart. I can’t stay here anymore… Everything reminds me of him, and I’m afraid of seeing him again.
I’ll step with the search for a new job, ready to change my life, even when my strength feels scarce…
I enter this year with a completely broken heart, and with the honesty to admit its ache. Yet alongside the pain, there are people who hold me, support me, and help me stand… Thank you.
I walk into the New Year with the hope of transforming my life, not in pieces, but wholly.
With the hope of no longer living alone, and of no longer fearing intimacy — letting closeness strengthen me, not shatter me.
With the hope of letting go of fear — fear of men,
fear of betrayal, step by step, slowly, restoring my trust in the world.
I step in with the hope of breaking free from my family’s hold, even from my last name, finding my own path, my own name, my own foundation, the point where I begin myself anew.
With the hope of leaving behind stories, expectations, and fears that were never mine to carry, allowing myself to be grown, independent, but not lonely again…
I enter not as someone who has already succeeded,
but as someone who has chosen to move forward even through pain, even through fear, even with empty hands.
But with open eyes, and a living, beating hope for my own life…
I will enter this year promising myself to suffer less, allowing myself to be weak and to cry sometimes if I remember him, but not allowing myself to be unnecessary or unwanted anymore.