I want to write about something that's very important to me this evening, but the problem is, I have no idea how to begin, because the gift that I used to have, with which I could easily write twenty-five hundred words, was taken away from me. It's almost like I lost my inspiration. It's almost like my inspiration was taken away from me. There was something truly special that truly inspired me in the past. I used to write one entry after another, and I couldn't stop writing until my fingers
on my keyboard started hurting me. Part of me wonders if my entries that I have sadly and foolishly deleted are still out there for someone to read. I wrote entries about love, and everything else that's connected to love, I wrote entries about life, and everything else that's connected to life. I wrote entries about the meaning of life and about the purpose of life. But
then one day a critic appeared, and started slandering them one by one and I got scared and I deleted them like they didn't matter. Truth is, all of them mattered to me. I was so proud of each and every single one of them. And another truth is, I wanted to use them as reflections and find a way to publish them in a book. But that doesn't matter anymore, because they are all probably gone, and I will never ever see them again. It saddens
me to know this, but part of me hopes that my gift is going to come back to me and I am going to be able to write the way I used to write all over again. It's one of my biggest desires at this very moment, because I want to share something special with someone who is truly special to me. Someone I cherish
deeply for what they've done for me in my life. I want to show them just how much they mean to me. I want to write a poem, a message, a heartfelt note, something that's going to touch their heart. You see, I wrote something before that was meant for them, their eyes only, but I foolishly shredded it to pieces
because I was an idiot. I want to remember everything that was in that special note and I want to write it all over again, just so they would know and see just how much their presence meant to me, but my mind just wouldn't let me. And that's why I can't write anything anymore. No matter how much I try, my mind just wouldn't let me write what comes from my heart.
No matter how much I try, my mind just wouldn't let me. And that's why I have to write like this in a completely different way from the one that I used to write with. I feel like I am stuck in some kind of a cosmic writer's block. I know what I want to write about, but when I use a keyboard, I just can't write about it.
I used to be so good at it. I used to be very good at it. But right now, with that gift gone, I can honestly tell you that I suck at it. I can't even replicate a heartfelt letter of gratitude. I can't even write my own WHY. I can't even write entries about all the things that truly matter in this world anymore. It's almost
like I am lost inside of a fog, even when something tells me, whispers to me, it's time to write something about something. So I am just going to give it a shot, I am just going to give it a try, no matter how ridiculous it may be.
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I can still remember that one moment, that one magical moment, that one incredibly beautiful moment, that stopped time, and completely turned my world upside down. I can still remember how I felt at that exact moment, I can still remember what I saw in that moment, I can still remember what I witnessed and experienced in that moment. I saw the light. Such an incredibly
beautiful light. Such a powerful and such a bright light. It wasn't just a normal light. It was a divine light. It was something so mesmerizing, it was something so profound. Something that wasn't of this world, but was out of this world. It is because of
this light and it's because of what followed it, I started to believe in divine all over again. To tell you the truth, I stopped caring about divine. To tell you the truth, I didn't care about divine anymore. I just wanted to have a normal life. I just wanted to have that kind of life that normal people have. That light
made me believe in blessings, that light made me believe in miracles, but more importantly, that light made me believe in the power of prayer. Because you see, just three weeks before seeing that light, I was outside late in the evening hours talking to God and telling him that I was ready for that kind of love that
I deserved. And when I saw that light, I saw just that kind of love that I thought that I deserved. That light changed my whole idea and my whole perspective on everything. And that light inspired me to write and write and to keep on writing. At one point I actually started writing a story and named it 'Love Without Words'. But life is full of surprises and something came up and I stopped writing that story. I had the whole idea in
my head to impress someone with it, but that idea unfortunatelly fell apart. But that's just life. I had this plan, this brilliant plan to write one chapter and publish it, and then write the second one and publish it, and then write the third one and publish it. It seemed silly but I honestly thought it would work.
And I even started working out, and I became very active at working out. I worked out for like sixty minutes a day, and I also started exercise biking, going out for walks, and taking some time for myself. I knew that I needed to change, I knew that my life needed to change. I even started searching for another
employment, and actually considered going back to a place I used to hate to work at, even though all the workers were extremely nice to someone like me. I thought that maybe bad karma wouldn't hit people who were always nice to me. But life itself had other plans for me. I needed to change all my ways in order to prosper.
I needed to change myself in order to move on from the old and face all the new. And for a while I did move on and for a while I did face the new. And it worked, it actually worked. But like I said, life has other plans and life is full of surprises and it suddenly stopped
working. Suddenly, I lost all the drive. I wanted to improve myself on a very immense level, but something kept telling me, you deserve more, you deserve a whole lot more than nine to five ! I had these words in my mind that an old friend of mine once said to me when I was ready to give up on love and I was ready to give up
on life. That old friend of mine said something about the light that I carry inside of me. Truth is, I can still remember every single word, and I can still remember the hug he gave me when all the tears started falling down my cheeks because I couldn't contain them anymore. What he said stayed with me and is going
to stay with me my whole life. Call me crazy or call me strange or call me weird, but in that exact moment, I felt the presence of divine surrounding me for the very first time in my life. And you guessed it, the second time I felt that presence was when I saw that light. It's these two moments that are and are always
going to be two most important moments of my life. Because in the first moment, I felt the presence of hope, and in the second moment, I felt the presence of unbreakable love. In the first, something whispered to me, listen to what he has to say, and in the second, something whispered to me, you have
seen nothing yet! In the first moment, I was too young to listen and to understand, but in the second moment, I just knew. And that light is with me every single day of my life. That light cannot escape my mind. Whenever I think of it, it's there. It's truly breathtakingly beautiful. It reminds me not just of love but also of
everything that is connected to love. That light inspires me every single day. It even inspired this ridiculous entry. I just want to tell that light how much it matters to, how much it means to me. But I want to tell it in my own way, in my own words. Not some false words, but words that are true, words that are honest and
respectful. I want to tell that light that I am so deeply grateful for it, and that I am never ever going to stop being deeply grateful for it. I am never ever going to stop cheerishing it. Whenever I close my eyes and think of it, I can marvel at its beauty. It's something truly special that makes me feel alive every
single day, it's something truly special that provides me with hope and with a thought that I can beat any challenge I face and that no matter the hardship, I can always make it. No matter what, I am always a winner because of it. No matter what, I always win in the end, just because I can still see it. I don't think it's a punishment.
I think it's a miracle, and I think I was blessed at that incredibly beautiful divine moment. Just the thought of it, pushes me forward and forward. Just the thought of being in its presence again, makes me wanna face the entire world. That light is the light that keeps giving me hope for a better tomorrow, keeps giving
me hope for a new beginning in my life. And I am never ever going to stop fighting for that new beginning. No matter how many of the obstacles, challenges, or adversities I face. Those are only temporary, the presence in that light is forever. It was that one moment, when I was shown its beauty that changed my whole
life forever. One moment is all it truly takes for you whole life to change from worse to the better. One moment can touch your entire heart and one moment can touch your entire soul. At one moment you are present and in the next you feel like nothing else matters in the world. That's exactly what happened to me.
None of it mattered anymore, nothing else mattered to me at that exact moment. I didn't care about the world anymore. I only cared about me seeing and witnessing that light. And, boy did I see the light! Such a beautiful and such a mesmerizing light! In that exact moment I felt unbeatable, i felt invincible, and I felt unstoppable.
And I feel the exact same way as I am typing this right now. I realize that I can lose one day and thus I can also lose a chance for that new beginning, but I also realize that I can win one day and thus can also be given a chance for that new beginning. And the realization that I can win one day, that's what keeps pushing me forward every single day ! That light carries a special place inside my heart, and that light is always going to carry a special place inside my heart. And even thought I can't protect that light from up close, I can always protect it from afar. And that's never ever going to stop, no matter the obstacle, no matter the adversity, no matter
the challenge ! And that's the reason why I am here to let it know in a different kind of way that it shines in such a profoundly beautiful way it can change lives. I know this for certain because I've come very far because of it, I know this for certain because it's completely changed mine, and I owe it my eternal gratitude because of it.