Dear Diary,
Is this burn out or procrastination? who’s to say? They both wear the same perfume: despair with a hint of guilt.
I awoke promptly at 8:00 AM.No grogginess, no remnants of sleep to blame. And yet, a heavy fog clung to my will. I simply did not want to go. Not today, I was fed up : wake up early, choose what you will wear and attend the lectures. It is like a never ending cycle and I was not enjoying it one bit. So I did what any rational person would do: I called in absent… to my mom. She was not impressed. She hit me with, “Should I tell your father?” And let me tell you, that’s not a threat.It’s a psychological chess move. We’re not scared of Dad. We just know once he gets involved, there’ll be a full-scale TED Talk on discipline and character. Truthfully I did not want to go this time and no one was going to stop me so I did not attend.And no it is not because of Patricia, if I was absent because of Patricia, it would be like torching your entire house because there’s a spider in the kitchen. Dramatic. Over-the-top. And completely ineffective. Anyway I do not even have the motivation to even eat or study. But I have a quiz tomorrow so I’ve made a deal with myself: I’ll stare at the ceiling for one more hour like I’m in a very boring indie film, and then I’ll study. Probably. Maybe. Okay, I’ll try.
- Me, currently operating at 3% battery