Dear Diary,
Welcome back to another episode of My Life Is Falling Apart
This morning, I decided to video called my mom. Not to confess my academic tragedy no not yet that’s a season finale reveal but just to say I had a migraine and politely ask whether I should take one of those magical little pills that might return my soul to my body.
And what did she say? Exactly what I expected. “Of course you have a migraine. You don’t eat properly. You don’t sleep properly. According to her, I live like a caveman. All because I don’t eat breakfast like I’m prepping for a protein-based bodybuilding competition.
Then, the sarcasm kicked in. “Eat something good for once,” she said, “Like some hard-boiled eggs with tomatoes. Or hard-boiled eggs with cucumbers. Not that nonsense you call breakfast those packaged croissants full of preservatives. Or those biscuits. Also full of preservatives. You’re not eating, you’re embalming yourself.”
Honestly, diary, I didn’t realize my breakfast choices were causing national concern. I thought eating a croissant was a quiet, harmless act. Turns out, I’ve been poisoning myself with processed sadness.
Thank you, Mother. Truly, your empathy could warm even the coldest corners of my stress-induced insomnia.
So here I am,migraine raging, self-esteem gently crumbling under maternal sarcasm, and still too ashamed to say, “By the way, I got a 14 on my paper and my dreams are dissolving like sugar in my tea.”
But hey, at least I know now: the real cure to academic burnout isn’t rest, or support, or hope. It’s two hard-boiled eggs and a tomato/cucumber. Breakfast of emotionally unstable champions.
Yours sincerely, the croissant-fueled student