Still Trying.

I have been focusing in school, completing my stuff in time and that stuff, but still there is one thing, that is fucking stressing me out. The bio test that is coming up is said by the teacher to be probably the hardest test of the year. And I have been studying for it and it still don't make any sense. It dose make sense, but the way he words his question and the question he asks is way too confusing and I am very sure that I will get below a 80 on that test.

I recently did very bad on my open note history quiz, but my parents don't know, good thing, because there are very strict, and they stress a lot with me about bio and if I get below a 90 on the test it is all over for me, they will be pissed at me even after trying and won't care if it was the hardest one this year.

I am already stressing about it. And explaining my parents that the test was hard is the farthest thing from what I can tell them because their answer will be, "You are too lazy and you did not study!", even if I studied for the test the whole fucking weak!

What the fuck man, I thought if I do everything neat and clean, nicely with determination I will get good results, but what happening is the complete opposite. Why does it have to be this way for me, why can't I not have to deal with this type of shit. Why can't I be as smart and determined at the others man.

The answer is pretty clear for me. I am not going to be able to work my dream job. At what level I am working at and with the motivation I am running at there is no future ahead.