1:08pm
Dear Future me,
I feel so frustrated that friday(practically last thursday because it has friday 12am) i had a big anxiety and self-hatred moment that inspired me to start this online journal, try to improve my situation and then i waste my friday, saturday and sunday. Those day there were so many productive things to do, but no, i was on youtube for hours, watching porn. the only good thing that i could say about my last 3 days is that i worked out and danced, that's it.
And i feel so powerless because i will never ever going to get those days back, the only thing that i control is my present. so what am i gonna do with it? today, now?
- let's create the habit's, just the habits. let's read the 3 summaries of atomic habits then create our own habit trackers.
+ i hate so much how mentally out of shape i feel, after doing something that requieres concentration in very very short time my head hurts and my focus fails.
- those are the consequences of our decisions, all those youtube shorts, all that porn, our poor sleeping habits. but we can improve, let's not pretend to be in our mental peak, set a timer 15min, and lets rest 5.
+ im struggling to figure out how should i take notes or if i should take notes at all
- don't take any note right now, first finish the reading, *don't take notes now*.
+ I'm feeling bad right now. and im nots sure how to describe it, but let's make an effort.
+ I can focus, my mind is wandering a lot. what should i do now?
-let's dance a salsa and a bachata.
7:16pm
in those six hours that i was ausent,i picked up a pakage, went to the gym, ate, MO, and took a nap. time pass so fast, now let's finish this, its so annoying being stuck in this part of the process
7:32
i'm reading the thing, it feels good, why does it feel good tho? thinking about the reward of listing to a new song after i finish this session is motivating me? or is the hope of finally being able to improve, i don't know, but let's keep working.