Hello Future Me or stranger on the internet.
I just had a very few moments ago i felt anxiety and self-hatred in a high degree. I workout as much as i could in my room at midnight to aliviate it (let's keep that habit, is a good way to deal with that situation). But i realize that i need to really really adress the root cause of those feelings.
i want to use this pages as a tool of introspection, to know, accept and then change myself. At this point of my story i hate myself, for me "Me" is weak, pathetic, unmature, irresponsable, dishonest, lazy, inconsistent, a bad son, incompetent, disorganized, addicted, unreliable, dumb, and im so dissapointed of me.
But i truly believe i can change an i can be better, i don't think any of those negative traits are an inmutable part of my being, i can get skills, be more honest, mature, competent, a good son, organized, free of addiction and proud of myself. how to get there and how hard is going to be, i still need to figure that out.
I also like and appreciate many things about how i been working out for year, how even i eat junkfood sometimes i preoritize eating healthy, how i choose and enjoy hoobies good for my brian, how i have a lot of good friends, and how even after failing to achive what i want and become who i want to be over and over again i still want to trust myself.