Dear no one,
Hello! It's been a while. I have uninstalled this app and kinda forget about this until now.A lot has happened after almost a year. I graduated last September, I am already working, and just recently regularized.I feel like the same person as always. Nothing change in me,only those people around me. I lost friends and gained new ones. I have a lot of cats. I have my income. All of that, but I am still unsure of myself. I still have a lot of pent up anger. I am still wondering when will my life begin. I still want a room of my own.I am still mourning for the things i couldn't have, for the person i wish i could be. I am still envious of my former classmates, they seem to have much experience, they seem so successful, so much alive. I can't help but reminisce and feel bitter about it. How can they be so happy and I'm not? Why are their lives so good while i am merely existing? They've had adventures while I'm burning myself out to the same routine.
Don't get me wrong, i am grateful for everything i have right now. I just wish my situations has been better. Maybe i am happier. Maybe i am not rotting here in bed every weekend.