I'm 25 and I still have no idea what I'm supposed to do with my life. I know I'm young, I've got all the time in the world, maybe I'll figure it all out when I'm 40, plenty of people have. But what am I supposed to do in the meantime? Truth is, I'm not capable of anything. Everything is so, so complicated for me. I don't understand the world, there are so many steps to everything, I can't even get past step two.
I feel like I wasn't meant for this, there's something wrong with me (let's be honest, there are many things wrong with me).
I keep trying to write something pretty, poetic, whatever, but I'm so frustrated, so devoid of my creativity, so empty, I can't take this much longer.
How long can I do this? How long can I take this emptiness? I feel like I can feel it right now, in my chest. A heavy, enormous pile of nothingness pinning me down.
It's stupid, so, so stupid. There's something vital missing from me and it makes me want to cry. I want to cry.
Radiohead was right, "You do it to yourself, and that's what really hurts". I know I hold the solutions somewhere, yet I'm the one who stops me from even thinking about them.
I'm my own worst enemy, I truly hate myself sometimes. Uuuuugh I'm rambling, I hate writing like this. It's just a mess, I'm tired, I'm sad, my chest hurts, it's just a bad day.
Just a bad day, I'll be better tomorrow. Ha.
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