January 10, 2024

4
Comments

Dear Stranger, 


I have to get to work on something. I don't know what, it doesn't even need to be interesting, and it certainly doesn't need to be profitable. Just productive. 


That's one of my problems. I abandon hobbies because I feel like I'm wasting time on something that's not valuable, won't make me any money, therefore is of no use to society. I want to feel useful. But what I want even more is to make dumb little crochet dolls for my loved ones without feeling guilty about "wasting my time". If someone has this problem I would immediately tell them that making art is never wasting time, but when it comes to myself, I can't even bring myself to think that what I do IS art. 


Uuuuuyagvzlehev I wish I was a little witch in a cottage making art whenever I want, making really bad paintings of nature just to be outside, not caring about wether or not I'll ever be able to afford a house in my lifetime... Life's not like that though. 


Still, I need to keep up my hobbies, I need to force myself. It's always good experience to just... Make stuff. Right?


I don't think I've lost my fire, someone just stole my lighter



L
Lydia Rose ✓
Jan 10, 2024 · 33 views

Comments (4)

Sign in to leave a comment.

L
Lydia Rose Jan 19, 2024

@ratz hell yeah you can, theres already a cottage with your your name on it 💛

R
ratzJan 12, 2024

can I join this club as well? I wanna crochet, paint, draw, scrapbook and more but I begin to feel guilty just by thinking of doing it.

L
Lydia Rose Jan 11, 2024

man oh man... youre just like me huh :) unreasonably shy, feeling guilty for even expressing my thoughts... but dont feel guilty please, its so warming and comforting to know im not alone, thank you for your words. Ill dream of a forest full of cottages and kind people until my last stupidly hopeful sigh 💛

S
solivagantJan 11, 2024

I feel a little self-conscious responding to this, like I'm eavesdropping behind a door that is not locked but is still only half-open. Maybe this is just my catholic upbringing and, no matter how hard I struggle to get rid of it, I will always feel guilty for doing anything really, but specially things that feel morally wrong somehow. Maybe I'm just unreasonably shy. But I read your entry, and I just was struck with this need, kind of urgent and griping, of saying that you remind me so much of myself it kind of aches. Reading your text felt like poking at a bruise of a friend and still feeling it, like it was mine. I really hope we get our cottages, someday. Keep doing art, this stranger would love to have a little crochet doll.

Previous Note Next Note

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."

— Maya Angelou