September 10, 2023

 

Dear Diary, update. i broke up with Kole, the one i said i really loved. i really did, but he was so manipulative. he would tell me things like "I'm gonna km/s if you ever leave me." and would try stuff like that to get me to stay with him and stuff. i really truly love him, but i wasn't happy. all of his friends that were also mine keep attacking me because "i broke his heart." im sorry i left a place where i was unhappy and felt like i couldn't do anything without being tricked. i really did love kole, truly. it was the hardest decision ever to leave him. i cried for hours to a day. so at the end of the day, who's heart really got broken? if he could've just thrown me away and move on like he did, his clearly isn't broken. i sound like a hoe, but i did get a new boyfriend. his name is austin; he helped through that entire day. he helped me break up with kole, and without him, i would've still been in that position. yes; i wanted kole and i to workout out, but i want austin and i to work out more than i wanted kole and i to work out. we actually talk about how we feel and we both have free will and trust each other. like yesterday this is what austin said, "i'm sorry i haven't been putting my full trust in you like i said i would. it's just the kole situation. i want us to work out more than anything, so i'm going to trust you with my life. i've just been overthinking, but i know you wouldn't do that to me." and omfgggg, kole has been spreading shit about me. i just wish i never ever got with him in the first place. my heart is aching but getting better thinking about talking to austin. i actually really like this boy and he runs!! i told him i ran track and he runs cc and track aswell!! i told him we're gonna run 5 miles in 20 minutes, and he said "i'd use all my energy on running with you." thank you if you actually read this, but man i'm only 13 i shouldn't be going through toxic relationships ALREADY.

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