Dear Diary, Im finding it increasingly easier but still almost impossible for certain things to not remind me of past emotions. Emts send my heart into a flurry thinking about you. Ik it wouldnt work because of your religious background but god it couldve been magical. You have such a good character that cant be broken clearly. Cause no matter how much pain you feel, you still are one of the best people ive ever known. I hope one day you realize that you cant keep letting your family control your life like this. Keep the religion if you must but i also think that inhibits you from seeing truly how special you are. You say god saved your brother that night. I refuse to accept that. You saved him that night woth you caring and medical knowledge. Imo your god can suck a dick for taking that from you. Ik im biased about religion because I feel it creates divides in humans and also teaches us to turn our brain off. But can you blame me? I hope eventually you find someone who can bring out that amazingness inside of you without you needing leverage from god to feel good about yourself. I hope you find some peace of mind. Reguardless of our relationship I love you for the human you are. You deserve the world as corny as that is.