[ENTRY 85..✍️]
"Do you have real feelings for me? I mean 'love'? Like the real one? Like you could do your life with me. Family stuff… I wanna know."
"Why these questions suddenly…"
"Just want to know. Don't lie."
"What pushed it?"
"Wanna know the real truth. Answer the damn question."
"Damn.." I was suddenly surprised by Chace's aggression because he's usually calm and collected. But it was happening again. He was stirring my feelings again. What was even going on? Why was he suddenly asking me these things? Didn't he just get back with his ex-girlfriend? Think fast, Bliss.
"I haven't thought about having a family with anyone at all," I began, stalling for some time to get to the more sensitive part. "And… I do love you, but…"
But… But what?
"It's built more by friendship now."
I blinked, surprising myself. Wow. Having said that out loud to him actually made me feel the intensity of its truth for the first time.
Then he smiled. "That's exactly my thought."
"Perhaps way back the first lockdown, the answer would've been different," I continued. 'And the rest of the following two years. Almost two years,' I added in my head.
"I know it was different. But I'm happy that I'm still your friend now. Thanks for being honest, lil ant," he stated, wearing that same solemn smile on his face. It was beginning to make me feel weird, to be honest.
"So why these questions suddenly?" I pressed on.
"She wanted to know. She was jealous." He laughed just a little before my mouth began bursting the same sound myself, carrying along a: "What the fuck?"
Another of that somber smile took over his countenance. "Thanks, Bliss. You are the best. I was sure you would say that. And you made me right."
Was he okay? He was looking at me with an unfathomable melancholic mirth on his eyes...
"The smile is creeping me out now," I pointed out.
He chuckled and said "sorry" just before doing that exact freaky smile once more.
I rolled my eyes and said: "Anytime, noodles," in answer to his thanks with a playful scrunch on my face.
"I'll be there for you, lil ant. As you have been for me."
"Err… Thank you…" He truly didn't seem right to me. "You sound drunk."
"I'm a bit."
"Ahh. No wonder. Baka."