October 27, 2021

For sure you might be reading this from the other side of the world at this very moment. 

Thank you for taking time to read this. ☺ 

Just to debrief you, heh, I'm married with 2 kids. 

Motherhood is everything to me but sometimes, i couldn't help hating on myself because I'm such a fcked up person. (at least, that's how i feel about myself) 

All my life, I've been sucking up at almost everything. 

And I am just so scared to fck my most favorite role in this lifetime - motherhood. 

So scared that sometimes i lose myself from trying so hard. 

Sometimes i realize that I've been becoming yoo hard on myself. Afraid to make mistakes. Afraid to not being seen by my kids. Afraid not being loved by them. I dunno, sometimes i just so scared about everything. 

Maybe it's just post-partum or whatever. 

Whatever it is, it's eating the shit out of me. 😔