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-TW: ableism and medical mistreatment, mental illness, talk of suicide and self-harm-

Dear Diary,

   I struggle with mental illness and physical problems, and because of my age, doctors and therapists do not take me seriously, it's frustrating, and I feel as if I'd been struck by a thousand trains once I get home, and there I realise nobody cares about my mental or physical well-being.

Sometimes I wish I could simply die.

Except its not death, I'm after, it's the FEELING of death, the sweet release of all of my pain and discomfort. Yet I fear the things that could happen if I did indeed pass. My burials price, the coffins price, the red puffy-eyed faces of my only 2 friends, and my boyfriend, living in an entirely different world, blissfully unaware, because of course, who would tell him?

Either way, have a picture of the psychosis-induced vent I wrote earlier. It shows disorganized speech caused by psychosis and a mild panic attack. 

And do not worry about me, as I am in no danger of killing myself or self-harming, it's just a simple vent.