Dear Diary,
"Whatever you're facing, God is bigger than that"
Well I know he is but I need help with what I'm feeling...
This isn't the first time in in need of help... I kinda always need help with my emotions...
I know I need to sit with them...
Sit and allow them to process...
It's the hardest thing in this journey of change... Trying not to fight it but allow it...when I'm programmed to fight or run from it, from everything....
To hide...
There is nowhere to run or hide from ourselves.
Recovery is hard work, it's a daily struggle and it's never ending...
Every situation is going to feel like "step one"...( Honestly I wish this was easier, but it isn't)
I always feel like I'm losing from the beginning...
( Up shit creek without a paddle).... Daily.
I feel like I'm always the one doing something wrong... ( Codependency trauma)
So it's not just going to disappear.
I feel unbalanced emotionally...