Dear Diary,
I cried and cried last night. Kemper and I had another one of our talks about life and it is becoming extremely apparent that I have made a ton of bad decisions. I mean, I’m pretty sure I have made a ton but he gave me a new perspective on it.
He let me snuggle next to him on his extremely uncomfortable futon, I slept really good last night after I actually went to sleep. I think it is absolutely ridiculous that he sleeps there and lets me take his bed but he won’t budge on that issue.
I have never been with someone who didn’t want something from me or had ulterior motives. It is kind of nice but it just makes me wonder why he wants me here. He says he enjoys my company and wants me to get better.
When I first met him, we talked about all kinds of stuff. Which we still do. Maybe I am worrying too much.
While I think sometimes he should keep his opinions to himself, he is really nice.
I need to remember to look at him as a friend because that is all it is seeming to be.
I’m confused as normal! Haha! I could literally drive myself crazy. Aren’t guys suppose to pursue you if they are interested? Are we still friends if we have slept in the same bed (no sex)? I am living with him and he said that he wants me here but he won’t force me to stay if I choose to go. So with that statement, we are just friends, right?! No sexual contact of any kind. Well I guess he hugged me one time and he has held me as I cried but I am pretty sure friends do that too. He is usually always at my side unless he is working. He did buy me a Kindle because he didn’t like the fact that I received one as payment for sleeping with a man. All these questions make my head hurt.
Like I said, I’m pretty sure I am over analyzing everything.
I just want to know, I guess. I get restless and depending on someone is not a good feeling.
Which of course he says is no issue at all but why would he do that?!
I think the one thing I am certain of is that I kind of like him.