December 31, 2020

Dear Diary,

I'm still battling with the decision of whether or not to reach out to my half sister &brother, and Robert's widow. I'm still trying to understand it all. 

What good will it do? He's gone.

But I have to know.

Did he love me after all?

Did he want to try to find me?

How do I move forward with my life if I don't know these answers.

Would my little sister & brother want to know me?

Do they hate him?

Did he try to do better by them?

Hard to breathe when I think about it.