Dear Diary,
This guy is just weird. I am in his vacation home though so I won't see him until tomorrow night. He said he may stop over in the morning if he has enough time.
I am thinking of just going to bed early. I have enough Vicodin to knock me out for a week, haha. No, I wouldn't use that much, that would be stupid.
He does have a selection of books available and I thought I would dig into one of those after I finish the one I am reading.
He still has very unusual tastes, at least to me. I am going to tell him no more of the choking because it is starting to hurt pretty bad. And my lip just won't heal for a bit because it keeps splitting open again. One of the other many reasons I am tired of doing this.
Ian mentioned Kemper is willing to help me and would be here if I asked him to. I guess I just don't want to go down that road since I just feel like we aren't really on the same page with each other. I am not sure how else to explain it. I messed up by leaving but I am also not ready to admit that to him haha
I wish Kemper had wanted more. I don't need another big brother. I don't want a roommate either. Plus, like I said earlier, I would make a crappy roommate since I would have no job to help pay for things. Because I doubt he would allow me to do this. Ugh, and I would have to quit the Vicodin which nooo, I don't want to do that either. Petty and dumb but it is the best sleep I have ever had. Well at least the past couple years of sleep have been very shitty. So I am sure before all this shit happened in my life, I probably had pretty good sleep.
Injecting vicodin into my arm is probably one of the highlights of my day. I know getting choked and hit isn't one of them.
This guy's place is pretty nice though. I like that it is all secluded and away from things. Reminds me of home!
I took a nap today and seriously thought I heard Ryan's voice. I thought I heard my name and that is what woke me up but it was in Ryan's voice. I am almost positive I heard it but it must have been my dream because he isn't here. I miss him!
My dream was crazy though, we lived in our old apartment at home. I was buying drugs from a couple a floor below us and when I was walking up the stairs with dad, they walked out and I was so afraid they would tell him that I was buying from them. It was weird! That is all I remember of it though.
Ian said he really didn't like that I did this to make money. I don't think a lot of people would be happy and I don't think people want to do this. I guess I do because it doesn't really bother me so much. I can zone out really easily and don't really have to think about it. The constant showers though are kind of a pain. I don't like not showering in between. It grosses me out.
I am going to take a shower again and hop into bed. Vicodin is kicking in and it makes it hard to stay awake.