December 03, 2020

 

Dear Diary,


I've decided to start a diary/journal in hopes it will help with therapy and keeping my life in line. I've stayed away from writing for too long anyway.


I am 25. I am a lesbian. I have a bachelor's degree in English/Creative Writing. I am currently in horology school. I live independently from my parents, though they still pay for my groceries and gas. I work in a jewelry store part-time, and go to school four days a week. 


My girlfriend is currently sleeping in my living room. She came to me this afternoon, sobbing, because she can't find a place to move. She has to drive two hours each way to work. I want to help her, but beyond me renting a house and her moving in, I don't think I can.


I love her. But she brings stress into my otherwise stress-free life. I know I'm not to blame for her problems. But I'm torn between sacrificing my boundaries to help her and not. I don't want to live with her, not yet. We've only been together for six months. But I can't handle her stress. 


The other day I drank during my lunch break. Just a little Bailey's in hot chocolate but still. I didn't really even realize until I made it back to school.


I don't know how to bring it up to her. She's the best partner I've ever had, but I just can't handle the stress. I do love her. But I don't love the baggage.

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