Dear Diary, today has been rough. My husbands schedule changed because of the increase covid cases in OTHER states. Anyways, now when he's home, DS and I are doing school, and when he comes home, it's super late. Everything is clashing. He feels the need to butt in when DS and I are doing school and when I told him that it doesn't help, he and I got into a disagreement. Not a disagreement like we were arguing but just that he doesn't hide his facial expressions when I tried to tell him about I feel, and it just hurts. He added extra comments that made me feeel worse. When I tried to tell him that it was unnecessary, he rolled his eyes.
We were both in the wrong in this situation, I could have not taken things so personally, but he could of had more compassion and understanding. I really hope this schdule change doesn't last long because this is really interferring with out lives.
I would love to just do school with DS after my husband goes to work, but in the afternoon, we are not motivated to do any education. So it's best to just get it done in the morning.
This gives my husband and amazing opportunity to do things he wants, whether that be go for a drive or shooting or whatever, but today everything just didn't go well for anyone. It was just dumb. And then emotional me couldn't turn my own feelings around.
One week late for my period (Not pregnant, this is normal) so my hormones are just not doing well right now, and although it's not an excuse, it does explain my emotions. Ever since this morning I have been having these emotional episodes every hour and I wish it would just stop. We are not fighting, we had a clash of feelings and misunderstanding. But I think it's because he is at work now, it's like the "don't go to bed angry" thing. Him going to work when things aren't 100%, it feels like things aren't better.
But I know this is mainly me. Something I battle for years, anxiety and depression. Getting stuck in my own head and my own feelings and overthinking everything.
My friend was supposed to come over today, but she just now told me she cant. so lets just keep adding to the disappointment.
I wish it was bedtime, I want it to be a new day.