For some reason I shall begin writing on this uneventful but busy day... being a stressed high schooler, I, of course, had three exams to look forward to this week but all I could focus on was my new-found obsession with my celebrity crush... since no one here knows who I am and this is anonymous I might as well go ahead with the details. I can't help but think about her all the time and watch all her movies... I'm in love with the way her eyes look so soft and genuine when she smiles, and the slight upwards curve of her patient and smiling face when she's waiting for something. I feel so distanced from her sometimes, by time and location (she's much older than I am; a shocking amount), and we live in different continents. I'm still very much glad to be even alive in the same period of time as her, though. I binge-watch her Youtube videos and think of what she would do if she were here... In all my anxiety her penetrating wisdom and warmth has become my guiding star. I have gotten lost in her at the same time, that vast pool of emotion swallowing me whole. I have never felt so confused; I have never felt so enraptured and enamored in something that wasn't actually going on in my life. At times my passion becomes all-consuming and my real life fades away... honestly, my social life is a mess but I may dig into that some other day. It's very tiring, this life...